If a random ass bitch is all it takes for you to be taken away from me, she can fucking have you. I don’t want you.

(Source: ohitsashley)

I never really realized how many people actually cared about me. How many people go out of their way to make sure I’m okay and to let me know that they’re there for me. Within the past year or so I’ve pushed away and ignored so many people and revolved my life around ONE person. I mean, so what, I was clingy. Sue me. I loved the guy. Or at least I thought I did.. But anyways, when I actually took a step back and looked at things at a different perspective, I saw how unhealthy I was being. I didn’t see it at the time because I was so caught up in being in a relationship and having a boyfriend and being “in love” that I lost sight of reality. I told myself that I would never be the type of girlfriend who only cares about her boyfriend. But I ended up being the one who cared and loved way more than I should have. It was a mistake. But I don’t regret it. If anything I’m thankful. I’m thankful that he was able to show me how much I could love a person. That I was capable of loving someone as much as I did. But it also taught me to be careful where I put my heart. To be in touch with reality instead of always living in the fairy tale aspect of life. Things aren’t always going to go the way i picture in my head. One second you think you’ll be together for the rest of your life, and the next he doesn’t even wanna see your face again and already has another girl on his arm. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s not how i pictured my life being.. without him. But things happen, people change and he did. He may not be the person i know anymore, but all i do wanna remember is the person he was, the person i fell in love with. As painful as the memories are at times, they were some of the best i’ve ever had. I wouldn’t change a single moment i had with him; from the fights, to the endless on and off thing we had in high school, to the quality time we spent with my family and when it was just us. He gave me the best almost 20 months of my life, and for that i thank him. I know that love will find it’s way back to me, whether it’s him or not. I may have given up on him but i won’t give up on love just because one person did. I’m surrounded by people who love me every day and i couldn’t be any happier. I’m not mad or sad anymore. I’m happy being single and knowing who i am. Knowing that i don’t need to disrespect myself or put myself out there for someone who isn’t worth my time and energy anymore. I mean, who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got an amazing family and group of friends who’s always going to be there for you. I admit, i miss being in a relationship, going out on dates, those cutesy texts, having a hand to hold, being able to call someone mine, hugs and kisses… but i wouldn’t trade the people who’ve been there for me since the day i thought my world was falling apart for a relationship that might not last. I know my worth, i know their worth. And i definitely deserve better. I may not have a boyfriend, but i have the best support system i could ever ask for. 

And i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s been my shoulder to cry on, to everyone who’s given me advice i didn’t wanna hear and to everyone who’s never left my side when i needed them most. The best feeling in the world isn’t being able to call someone mine.. It’s knowing that people care and love you just the way you are.. and that they’re there for you even at your worst.

For some reason, i’m numb. I don’t feel as sad as i thought. It was easier for me to breathe and surprisingly, i had a great day. Thank God for my family and friends. 

Time. I really need a lot of time. As impatient as i am i know that the right moment will happen. I’ll fix this. I won’t fix us, but i’ll fix what i broke. I don’t want us to end up like my past or yours. I promised you i wouldn’t be that girl. And i plan to keep that promise. Just not now.. The past is the past, and what’s done is done. I’m going to do my part and do what’s right and hopefully fix things, but if you want nothing to do with me after that, then that’s it. I respect your decision.

Life is fucking hard but if you have the right mentality and a good heart, you’ll find a way to work your way through these obstacles.

Again, you probably won’t read this, but if you are then there you go. I’m still trying..

oneandonlyjoyce:

• Belle and the Beast because looks didn’t matter 
• Jasmine and Aladdin because he’d do anything to be with her
• Mulan and Shang because no matter what happened, they still love each other
• Cinderella and the prince because popularity/rank wasn’t important
• Ariel and Prince Eric because he didn’t need to hear Ariel’s words to know she loves him

(Source: xkellyly)

I was always second ..

(Source: saraahlew-)